Adolescent Psychoanalysis

Along Came Andrea

Chapter 15

Part 1

Andrea — about 5 years ago.

Andrea was not one of my analytic patients, but was one of the many adolescents with whom I had spoken frequently, in the hallway, briefly in my office, and with whom I had a very good relationship. The following incident furnished the inspiration for this book:

At Linden Center, amongst numerous other meetings, a Quarterly Meeting is held every three months. This meeting is attended by the adolescent, his/her parents, the residential staff, their supervisor, the family therapist, the individual psychotherapist, the patient’s teacher, usually someone from the Department of Mental Health, and myself. Because of the myriad of other meetings that occur during the 3 months prior to the Quarterly Meeting, there are usually no surprises at the Quarterly Meeting, the content that will form the basis of this meeting having been discussed frequently. This is the only meeting, however, where all members of the treatment team for a particular adolescent meet in the same room at the same time. This particular meeting took place in early 2003—one of Andrea’s Quarterlies.

In these meetings verbal reports are given by a staff person representing his/her and each part of the program. The meeting is run by me. There are reports from the Residential staff, Social Worker, Family and Group Psychotherapist, Special Education teacher and Psychotherapist. Once the staff reports are given, I ask the parents and then the adolescent for their evaluation of their child’s progress, lack thereof, likes, dislikes, of the program, of Linden Center, the staff, the school, me, etc.

In this particular meeting, the reporting having reached Andrea’s mother, I, having asked her some open-ended version of the questions listed above, get no response. It was at that time that I departed significantly from my usual discussion with the parents and directing this meeting. Andrea’s mother, in spite of numerous, numerous efforts from all parts of the staff, had simply never followed any of the interventions that were recommended to her regarding her home life with Andrea. The large majority of parents do follow what they are asked. My departure, however, was this. Speaking directly to Andrea’s mother, very politely, I listed for her all the things that although having been asked frequently, she had not attempted nor achieved while her daughter was a patient at Linden Center. My motive, probably questionable, but well meaning, was a last ditch, hope against hope, that her lack of awareness and action vis a vis the treatment plan for her daughter could be brought to life. She had nothing to say.

Next was Andrea. My expectation was that when I got around to Andrea, who was next, she would be angry at me, angry at what could be taken as me interfering with her discharge, and therefore have nothing much to say. Nevertheless, I asked Andrea how she thought things were going, saying something like “what’s up?” She was, surprisingly to me, not at all angry, but friendly as always.

What then ensued profoundly affected me.

“Pretty good”, she said.

“Pretty?” I asked.

”, She said.

“Really?” I asked

“My mother doesn’t trust me,” she said.

“How so?” I asked.

“Like when I go out. Like when I go to parties—she thinks I’m irresponsible” she said.

“Why that?” I querried.

“She thinks that I use drugs and drink, like in the past,” she said.

“Drugs?” I asked,

“I have been responsible, except for having a little marijuana and a beer at one party, once. Compared to what I used to do, nothing”, She said.

“?”. I gestured.

“Yeah. And mother drives me crazy. Always asking, just like the staff, did I do this, did I do that? I can’t stand it. I do virtually everything right”. But I am not a Saint”, She said.

“Asking?” I asked.

“No. Nagging. She asks did you go to a party? Was there alcohol? Marijuana? And then, after all that, she’ll never do anything about it. She doesn’t ask before, ever. She doesn’t do the things that the staff ask her to do. Like what you asked her. She does none of them. She never asks about AA. I know it’s up to me, but at least some asking or supporting, from her would be nice” she said.

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